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Learn the 16 KEYS to become a SUPER DATER
Your GUIDE to On Line Dating Success
Key #1 – Dress for success
The first thing you have to do is learn to dress for success with women. You have to get women to be attracted to your outer appearance immediately and it usually doesn’t take much longer for her to start to see the real you. You have to do this in your pics as well as in real life.
The secret to looking good has more to do with your FASHION SENSE than what you were born with. You need to learn how to dress for success with women that will make them drool. Your fashion sense should reflect who you are, what you represent and just as importantly what WOMEN find attractive.
You attract a lot more bees with Diesel Jeans than with vinegar. When it comes to success with women your outside appearance has to be “ON”. It also and almost more importantly has to reflect the qualities of what women are looking for. There are basically 2 things you have to express in your dress and how you present yourself that are noticeable to women.
1. Confidence. No other one thing breeds success like confidence. And this one thing will get you laid. Stand with your head held high. Tilt your chin upward almost like you are looking down your nose. Stand up straight but comfortable. Carry yourself well and dictate your personal space. Don’t move out of the way when people approach you.
Keep your hands to your sides and out of your pockets. If you have trouble with that, touch your thumb and middle finger together at your sides OR put your thumbs in your back pockets until you get comfortable with it. Don’t overeat in ANY situation. Stand with one foot out in front and with the other foot at a 45 degree angle. Make a lot of eye contact. Speak with a resonant tone that comes from your diaphragm and it should make your whole body vibrate.
2. Social Intuition. A well dressed many “gets it”. The world is full of slobs and women know this. Believe me they know this. They have a much keener sense of social intuition because for them it’s inherent. It is literally in their DNA. For us we have to learn it in our environment.
A man that is well dressed shows that he takes care of himself. He represents status. He is healthy and virile. This triggers a key component in a woman’s brain. Do you know what it does to them? If a man is virile and healthy what does that mean? It means he will produce healthy offspring. Do you know how offspring are produced? That’s right, by having sex.
If you dress well and carry yourself confidently your close ratio with women is sure to sky rocket. Good, confident well dressed men are in short supply in America.
Key #2 – Have a good photo selection
One of the drawbacks of online dating is you don’t really know what the other person looks like. This is something that we all incur and is unavoidable. Conversely, you are now trying to “sell” yourself and have to put the best product out there. In order to be a Super Dater you have to be attractive to the opposite sex for them to respond to you.
There are a few ways to make sure YOU are putting the best pictures of yourself out there to get a high number of responses, return emails and higher quality women to respond to you.
Everyone has pics of themselves and 99% of them should NOT BE USED for online dating!! I’ve seen so many bad pics its ridiculous. It really is comical at times what you see out there but just like anything in life you have to weed through a lot of crap in order to find what you are looking for but this is what will set you apart.
The first thing you have to do is start taking pics of yourself. And no I don’t mean that cell phone pic where you’re standing in the bathroom and pointing the phone at the mirror. Ugh, give me a break with that one. Go out with friends and have fun and take pictures of it! Smile and be seen with other people. Have a girl on your arm even if it’s your sister or friend. Dynamic pics of you smiling and enjoying your life represent a high social value to other females considering talking to you.
Key #3 – Rank & Rotate your websites
Categorize and rank each websites. You may get different results from each site and there will be a few things that do stand out and some sites to rotate and some to avoid altogether. Use 4 specific criteria to rank each on line dating site.
A. Do you have to pay? With most sites, you have to pay a monthly membership. Some are totally free and believe me; paying does not always produce the best results. My favorite site is FREE.
B. Do you want to date or just find sex online? There are all different types and I find that no matter what you are looking for you can find ALL of it on ALL the sites I recommend.
C. When you post an ad or profile, is it either a dynamic post or static ad? Simply put a static ad is written once and remains on a profile for people to see and dynamic posts are placed on websites that will have people coming and going looking at your posts which you can post daily or weekly. For example, www.craigslist.com has dynamic posts and Yahoo!Personals uses static ads.
D. What sort of women are on this site? Certain sites attract a certain type of person and each site has a particular “kind” of woman that look or post on those sites. A high ranked woman you can bring home to mom and a low ranked one you may want to leave in the car.
Key #4 – Use both Static Ads and Dynamic posts
A static ad is an ad that you write one time for people searching the site to read to become interested enough to respond to you. That is the goal of the static ad. You can also use it to respond to other women on that site. It isn’t a way to tell a life story or get a wife. It has a very specific purpose. GET WOMEN TO RESPOND. Women tend to be very good at writing static ads and guys usually aren’t very good at them. There are a few key components to the static ad that you should be made aware of.
1.It should reflect to anyone reading it that you have social intuition, a sense of humor and can improve their social life by being associated with you.
It should reflect to anyone reading it that you have social intuition, a sense of humor and can improve their social life by being associated with you.2.It should also be a way for you to ask others questions. If you are spending the time to write it they should spend time responding. That’s called communication and that is how you get women interested. You are going to do all the leg work up front and have multiple responses prepared for the answers to those questions
It should also be a way for you to ask others questions. If you are spending the time to write it they should spend time responding. That’s called communication and that is how you get women interested. You are going to do all the leg work up front and have multiple responses prepared for the answers to those questionsThe static ad works great for your personal profiles and for first responses to women you are going after. They don’t read personals like these every day and you are so much more interesting to them than most of the men they are viewing.
There is another style of ad and that is the standard dynamic post. These should be posted on sites that allow for up to the minute posts where women go on there daily and read them and respond. Most hits you’ll get are when girls are bored at work before they leave and on Sunday mornings. If you post during those times you should do great. Posts usually last for a week but responses tend to die off after a few days.
Most of the posts we review on these sites are very poorly written, do not have good pics and the guys pretty much are not attracting women but detracting them. There really is a limited amount of competition to gain women’s attention on dynamic post websites so you have to make sure you definitely stand out from the rest.
When you first start posting a static ad on a dynamic post website you’ll see that it works but you won’t be able to adequately qualify the women who are reading them. After all, you can’t see who they are so put the advantage back in your corner and develop a fun 10 question quiz for them to TELL YOU ABOUT THEM.
One thing I certainly know for sure is that women love good thought provoking questions, especially when they have an hour left at work and are surfing the Internet.
Each question should have a meaning and they should all be designed to tell you who you are REALLY talking to. The questions should be fun for them to answer and you just look like the cool guy asking interesting questions.
A lot of times they respond and ask you to answer those questions for them or their own.
Women love challenges and you have just begun a very interesting dialogue with her. You’ll literally answer these posts on a daily basis and just simply have fun with it.
Key #5 – Have pre-made responses using their answers to your “quiz” to get dates
Your goal in on line dating is to attract and qualify women of your choosing and then get you out on successful dates. You are not going to get a date without asking the right way at the right time.
Use a stock, standard email response to send back to the women who respond to my dynamic post if you CHOOSE and then decide if you want to go out with them. Again, it’s up to you if you are going to ask them out, not the other way around. Use stock, standard email response to the dynamic post then some standardized responses to the static ads to fill up your social calendar.
Don’t be afraid to ask good sexually induced questions either. Women love talking about sex and a big myth is they don’t like having sex. That is a myth because they LOVE having sex just as much if not more than we do. Ask interesting sexual questions like “Are you loud in bed?” instead of “what’s your favorite position?”
They are completely turned on by a man that knows how to express himself, especially on an emotional level, and she WILL respond and she WILL give you solid answers to work with. It may take a few practice runs but you’ll get it and in time it will become second nature to you!
If a woman responds back to you or responds to your static ad then I’m sure she’ll be asking you more questions. That is what it’s designed to do. She is intrigued by you and what you had to say.
Be careful not to vary too far from the questions though. If she does ask you additional questions, then answer them briefly without lying and don’t forget the key components listed above. Make sure they relate to all the key items in the STATIC AD but always end the response with a few more questions with the last one being a request for a date by asking what she is doing on a night of the week you choose.
Key #6 – Use the Multiple venue technique
The multiple venue technique is essential, especially if you are new to dating. You will always need a list of multiple places to go for specific and different reasons. What if you go on a date and the place you go to sucks? Does the date suffer? Of course. No matter how “cool” you are, the environment you are in is just as important as you are. What if she doesn’t like the first place? What if she doesn’t like the 2nd place? You need to have a map for the evening. Have specific criteria for each of the venues established that make going back to your bedroom, a snap.
There is a very specific reason you need to utilize 3 venues. The energy level from the second you walk in the door of ALL of the venues will start peaking and then gradually decrease from there on. You don’t want to decrease the energy level of the evening to go down too low because once it is gone so is she. Each new venue represents a increase to the energy level so the burden of that is on you. If something isn’t going well on the date for whatever reason than CHANGE VENUES!!!
From the second you walk in to the first venue the clock is ticking. This is where most guys get tripped up. They think if their dates are happy in the beginning that bodes well for later. That is not the case or how that works. The first section of the date she is interested and energized. Smiling, laughing and “in to it”. But that level peaks about 1/3rd of the way in to the date and then starts that gradual declines towards the “I’m in to it” line. Once you cross below that line it is very hard to recover or regain the interest or energy level. Guys that think they are getting laid because they misread the peak end up getting an “I’m tired, I think I’m going to go” and get a goodnight hug.
This is why having multiple venues is superior to a 1 venue date.
The main goal in the multiple venue technique is to get her in a position where you should start to feel you can take her home and do things to her. This does not mean you have to go to all the venues if the attraction and chemistry level is there to take it to the next level.
Don’t rush her out of a venue if you’re just trying to take her home. And don’t stick around a place if she starts biting her lip or rubbing her foot on your leg. Those are pure signs that she is in to you and wants you to start advancing. So keep in mind the blueprint of the evening is set but you never know how it will end up and if you can go back to your place before you hit up all the venues than GO!!!.
Key #7 – Be Chivalrous, DO NOT be a gentleman
First dates are awkward for most people, especially for men. I want you to focus on the needs and desires of the woman on your dates. The most important factor on a first date is how comfortable you can make your date FEEL.
Women for centuries have been asked to go on bad dates at static places by boring guys. It’s almost universal. They hate the traditional model for dates like a stagnant 3 hour dinner with a stranger with nothing to do except listen to his boring stories and with no way out! Yikes! Ask any women you know and they will all agree that this is the one part of dating that they absolutely can not stand!
You can change all of that and make going out on a date with you an absolute pleasure. In order to make your date feel comfortable with you, you have to:
1. Be chivalrous. Notice I didn’t say be a gentleman. I want to you to make her scream in ecstasy in a few hours. That is something a gentleman would never do on a first date.
There are a few rules when it comes to being chivalrous:
A.Always walk on the side of the street that is closest to traffic. Most guys don’t even know that rule. Most every woman does. If she is on that side when you are walking down the street, tell her she is on the “man side”. Not only will she get a kick out of the reference because it is funny but she will notice your social intuition and attention to chivalry.
Always walk on the side of the street that is closest to traffic. Most guys don’t even know that rule. Most every woman does. If she is on that side when you are walking down the street, tell her she is on the “man side”. Not only will she get a kick out of the reference because it is funny but she will notice your social intuition and attention to chivalry.B.Hold the door open for her. An oldie but a goodie. It really is a sign that you are the leader of this date. You in essence are her escort. Show this often and she will do as you wish.
Hold the door open for her. An oldie but a goodie. It really is a sign that you are the leader of this date. You in essence are her escort. Show this often and she will do as you wish. C.Pull out her chair. Another great way to show you can be chivalrous. Having old fashioned values is a great way to show chivalry.
Pull out her chair. Another great way to show you can be chivalrous. Having old fashioned values is a great way to show chivalry.D.Make menu recommendations. Remember, you are going to places that you go to frequently and she may have questions about the menu. Having her looking to you for answers, is one of those things you can do now that will get her naked later. If she gets into the pattern of following you and what you do and request, then it just becomes natural for her to continue following you and ultimately submit to what you desire, which just may end up being her. This is the whole “it just sort of happened” thing.
Make menu recommendations. Remember, you are going to places that you go to frequently and she may have questions about the menu. Having her looking to you for answers, is one of those things you can do now that will get her naked later. If she gets into the pattern of following you and what you do and request, then it just becomes natural for her to continue following you and ultimately submit to what you desire, which just may end up being her. This is the whole “it just sort of happened” thing.E.Make the burden of conversation be on you. Just because you are there qualifying her to your standards doesn’t mean you don’t have to work for it. Have many stories, games and things to talk about before you go on your date. The war is won before any battles are fought. I cover many of these in the book "The Recipe". Women are attracted to men with interesting things to talk about.
Make the burden of conversation be on you. Just because you are there qualifying her to your standards doesn’t mean you don’t have to work for it. Have many stories, games and things to talk about before you go on your date. The war is won before any battles are fought. I cover many of these in the book "The Recipe". Women are attracted to men with interesting things to talk about.2.Be funny. Did you know that humor is the #1 thing that women look for in a man? Laughter touches the same part of a woman’s brain that sex does. They relate the two very closely to each other. Humor is the ability to “find the funny” in anything. Even if you aren’t a funny guy, don’t worry. I’ll have plenty of ideas on how to do this as we continue
Be funny. Did you know that humor is the #1 thing that women look for in a man? Laughter touches the same part of a woman’s brain that sex does. They relate the two very closely to each other. Humor is the ability to “find the funny” in anything. Even if you aren’t a funny guy, don’t worry. I’ll have plenty of ideas on how to do this as we continue3.Be direct. Directness is a sign of power. Not arrogant but direct. Make things happen. You are the leader and you are in control of the evening. If she doesn’t have to worry about planning anything or being in charge and just has time to enjoy herself you are cooking with gravy my friend! That will lead her back upstairs!
Be direct. Directness is a sign of power. Not arrogant but direct. Make things happen. You are the leader and you are in control of the evening. If she doesn’t have to worry about planning anything or being in charge and just has time to enjoy herself you are cooking with gravy my friend! That will lead her back upstairs!Key #8 – Go to places that are dynamic and fun to go.
Before you go on any dates you have to research your neighborhood for fun places to go. A great rule of thumb is if a lot of women already go there then bring your date there. What attracted those women to these particular places will usually have the same effect on your date.
Here are some venues you should NEVER go to on a first date.
1.Movies. They are static, in the dark with no interaction with the other person. You know nothing about them by the end of the movie. It’s a horrible first date place.
Movies. They are static, in the dark with no interaction with the other person. You know nothing about them by the end of the movie. It’s a horrible first date place.2.Sit down dinners. Too static and no escape or fun. It is a trap for most women and they will appreciate you more if you take them some place fun.
Sit down dinners. Too static and no escape or fun. It is a trap for most women and they will appreciate you more if you take them some place fun.3.Concerts. Similar to movies there is a little more interaction but you don’t represent the social value for the evening. The concert and the band represent the value and believe me they appear to be much “cooler” than you do. Unless of course you are Mick Jagger.
Concerts. Similar to movies there is a little more interaction but you don’t represent the social value for the evening. The concert and the band represent the value and believe me they appear to be much “cooler” than you do. Unless of course you are Mick Jagger. 4.Nightclubs. Meat heads and dance floors are enemies on a first date. Avoid them like the plague. Only go to nightclubs with a group of your friends or only after you have gone on at least 2 dates with a woman.
Nightclubs. Meat heads and dance floors are enemies on a first date. Avoid them like the plague. Only go to nightclubs with a group of your friends or only after you have gone on at least 2 dates with a woman.Key #9 – Be on the lookout for IOI’s
Start paying more attention to the signals she is giving you. You are looking for things that show that she is interested in you. They are called indicators of interest, or IOI’s. They are signs, verbal or non-verbal, that shows she is interested. You can look up a great deal about IOI’s on line. Just literally type in IOI and you will get a million hits.
You should review some of these in detail but essentially it is just a sign that she is in to you. So you can stop asking the question in your head “I wonder if she likes me” and start paying attention. I have always in my career used the term “listening with your eyes”. It means paying attention to what is going on around you. Be a little bit of a detective to get more of an “in tune” perception of your immediate surroundings. In this case you are looking and listening for her to give you specific IOI’s.
Key #10 – Communicate to a woman properly on a date
Inevitably the burden of conversation is on you but most people ask the same 3 questions when they first meet.
1.What do you do for a living?
What do you do for a living?2.Where are you from?
Where are you from?3.Where did you go to school?
Where did you go to school?I refer to these as the “job interview” questions and they are inevitable on first dates. She thinks that if you fit the bill for what women are generally looking for (stable, educated and successful) then she has successfully “qualified" you.
We know these questions are going to be asked during the date and she has no idea we know what she is doing. You not only appear to have the upper hand you actually HAVE the upper hand.
Use the technique that can work in every facet of your life and I want you to understand its importance. It’s called grounding and it is a framing technique. Let’s use the “What do you do for a living?” question and ground it.
The grounding technique for employment is:
1.You have wanted to do it since you were a child
You have wanted to do it since you were a child2.You have over come obstacles along the way.
You have over come obstacles along the way.3.You have achieved success or are in process of achieving that success.
You have achieved success or are in process of achieving that success.For example:
Question: “What do you do for a living?”
Answer: “Even since I was a small child I had always loved to draw and be creative so I decided to grow my talents and become an architect. It has been challenging and exciting, especially with some of the changes that have been made to improve the environment and even though I work for a successful company my eventual goal is to start my own firm…”
Learn to ground your answers and you will become ultra successful with women because you give them an emotional reaction and attachment to YOUR answers. It is very powerful.
Key #11 - Have a preset list of qualifying questions
Have questions that you want to know about her but don’t get too deep too fast. Keep them light and simple for your first few venues
After you have gone thru the job interview questions and you have grounded yourself, You can start asking initial qualifying questions. These are similar to the questions in the dynamic post except if you have already asked her those you need some new ones. They should all be fun and interesting and give you an impression as to what she is really like.
Key #12 – Social Lubrication
It’s important to understand a woman’s brain under the influence of alcohol. The female brain is one the most complicated and beautiful things known to mankind. It has the ability to hold large amounts of information. It is both caring and logical and it can multitask but if you add white wine, apple martinis or cosmopolitans then their synapses begin to misfire. Women then start to display an attitude free of inhibition. They will seek out stimuli that are engaging, exciting and fun in order to satisfy these urges. Single women who go out frequently will follow this pattern 2-4 times per week. This is to your ultimate benefit.
I am not advocating that you get a woman drunk to try and have sex with her. Quite the contrary, you don’t need alcohol to make a woman want to sleep with you. What I am advocating is that there are at least 1-2 alcoholic beverages consumed to put her brain in to “seeking stimuli mode”. You need to get her out of “work mode” or “school mode” and get her into “seeking stimuli mode”.
Key #13 – Multi thread your conversations and build sexual tension
You are trying to have a deep and wide conversation and I want your topics to overlap and have multiple threads. A good conversation has 3 – 5 threads. A thread is just a topic. For example, if you ask one of your initial qualifying questions, “If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?” She may answer Hawaii and then talk about a recent trip and some of those activities. You can then start a multi thread around the activities. Now you are talking about one, a cool place, two, a potential future life there, three, activities from the vacation, four, other vacation ideas and so on and so forth.
It is amazing how easily a conversation can flow when you add multiple threads in this environment. Conversations can become seemingly endless and that is a great thing.
There is nothing worse than being on a date and having nothing to talk about. Nothing! This way there is always something to go back to if there is ever a break in the conversation. And when you have deep and wide discussions she will start to show interest in you and the sexual tension will start to build.
Another great reason to have a few pre-made sex questions for your conversations. Sexual tension is great because it means you want to have sex with each other. Most guys think if there is tension that it is a bad thing. These guys don’t get any action. You want sexual tension. You NEED sexual tension. It is a beautiful thing so keep building it. It works to your advantage.
Key #14 – Use congruent compliance to seal the deal
If you she has already given you a verbal IOI it is time to now enter the world of what I like to call congruent compliance. I also used to refer to it as the Jedi mind trick. A little psychology is being used here. Do you know the easiest way to get someone to do something you want them to do? Or have them act the way you want them to act? It is the application of congruent compliance and it can be summed up in to 8 magical words.
“You know what I really like about you…”
Those 8 words are as powerful as dialogue can get.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you want your girlfriend to always close and lock the garage door when she comes home. Let’s say last week she left it open and something got stolen or misplaced. So rather than yell at her you will systematically reprogram her behavior. You simply say to her. “Hunny, you know what I really like about you, is that you always shut and lock the garage door when you come home. You are so considerate.”
Fundamentally now her brain tells her the next time she is at the garage door and she doesn’t shut and lock it she will be out of congruence with why her boyfriend likes her and no one, and I mean no one, wants to be disliked. It’s simple human nature. Her conscience will prevent her from making that mistake or she will be replaced with feelings of pain, betrayal and guilt.
The mind spends all of its time keeping us alive and it does that by the avoidance of pain and the creation of pleasure. To be liked is pleasurable and to be disliked or feel guilt is painful. I guarantee with every last nickel I have in my pocket that the next time she comes home that garage door is shut and locked.
You can use it to give her a non-physical compliment or use it to some how modify the behavior or get do something that you would like.
This is a very powerful technique. You have to use it sparingly and intelligently. So when in a situation where you are trying to achieve a result, in this case getting to 1st base, you can use this powerful technique to your advantage.
Key #15 – You WANT her to say “We are NOT having Sex tonight!”
I have heard a million times “I never have sex on the first date” and “I like to wait” and “We’re NOT having sex tonight”. I love hearing it. And more often then not it ends up being just the opposite. The great part of her saying we are not having sex tonight means she has envisioned us having sex in the future. That powerful mental image exists now even if it was a deflector. I can use that to my advantage.
If I say “don’t think if a purple elephant”, what is the first thing you do? Right, you think of a purple elephant. Now I said not to do it, but human nature forces that image in to your head. It is actually counter productive for me to say it unless of course I want you to think of a purple elephant. Got it?
If she really doesn’t want to have sex she will NEVER bring it up. Ever. The second she does mention sex the mental image plays in her mind and using this system she is yours for the taking. This usually means she does want to engage in sexual activity but hasn’t been properly persuaded yet.
So once you have initiated some good kissing , used congruent compliance, you feel like you’ve got her in the right “frame” of mind and she is pretty excited you’ll want to get out of there. Now it is time to go back to your place and do what nature intended. Don’t spend more than 30 minutes maximum at your last venue. The shorter the better. If you can get all that accomplished to leave to go to your house in 5 minutes than DO IT!
Key #16 – Lead and distract
Focus on the technique of leading and distracting. If you are leading like you have been all night she is already in that frame of mind. Following you somewhere is what she has been doing for the last 3 hours. Doing it again is really no big deal. If this was the first time she had to follow you and it was back to your place than the “I’m not a whore” wall goes up instantly and drastically, and for the most part is unable to be overcome. In your case however, you have already built in what is referred to as location conditioning throughout the entire evening.
As odd as it may sound you have been “teaching” her to follow you all evening. It is her position in the evening to be the follower and women deep down love a man that takes control and takes charge so she doesn’t have to. So as you have already left it is her natural response to follow you where ever you go. Lead her back to your place. So the reality is just walk there. Don’t talk about it, don’t mention it. Just do it.
You have another part in this technique to utilize and that is distraction. Distraction is a key element in getting women out of the “slut conflict” that they are naturally going through. The easiest way to cause a distraction is through laughter. Effective methods are singing, impersonations highlights of the evening, anything to keep her mind off of her internal slut conflict.
Also making her laugh will start to activate her sex triggers. Remember previously we stated a sense of humor and laughter activates the same part of the brain that triggers a sexual response.
So when I’m leading the way home I am also making sure there is no lull in the conversation and I am keeping her in stitches. Make fun of something. Tell a funny story but just make sure you keep on talking.
Make sure you have the idea in mind that the more you make her laugh on the way back to your place the higher the likelihood that you will be getting some action.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed the article. This is just a small sample of what you need to know to become a Master in the field of On Line dating. I recommend that you continue your education in the field of on line dating.
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